Everyman.
There were several thoughts I've been having in the past couple of days. My folks and I went hiking the other day. I wandered off and climbed up my way up to a waterfall. It was breathtaking. As I stared down from up above it ocurred to me how fragile the human body is. One faulty rock and I could have been sent flying downwards. So I sat there at the edge, taking in the scenery, and began wondering if indeed something were to happen to me, what would I be leaving behind? What impact would I have made on the world and the people around me?
So I ran. I wanted to prove to myself that there was so much more. I didn't want to sit and wonder. I wanted to know. I wanted to seek. I wanted to risk.
Monday I sat in my English class. This one class is the biggest reason why I look forward to school. Our teacher was explaining this allegory written ages ago titled "Everyman." I won't go into much detail, but the point was that each of us goes through this journey called life and our destination is death. On this journey we invite our friends, kindred, five senses, and so forth. The only thing that we can't bring along are good deeds. Even when we die our good deeds are remembered, and these memories can not die.
I am not afraid of death. I thought I was, but I'm not. Death happens regardless of my consent. But I've finally realized what it is that I am afraid of. I fear what happens next. Is there a Heaven? Is there a Hell? Or will it be exactly like before I was even born-- will I just cease to exist along with my mind and soul? Will I remember anything? Will anything matter?
My Groups
-
The Thinking Woman Updated: 14 minutes ago
-
Monthly Book Club Updated: 2 hours ago
-
Girly Girls Updated: 3 hours ago
Neighborhood
Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
Comments
For years I've searched for answers to the questions in your last paragraph. And all I can come up with is that we just won't know until it happens. I like to believe that once you die, whatever you believe comes next will actually happen to you. However, that thought scares me because I think that when I die, nothing will come next - it'll be the same as before I was born. I'll 'live' in nothingness. And I don't want that to happen. I like life too much.The idea of Heaven sounds amazing, but I don't believe in it.
Sometimes at night, right before I fall asleep, I think about what will happen after death and this horrible feeling runs through me and I shudder. Then I force the idea out of my head because I hate thinking about it.
Funny how you and me think alike.
There are two quotes that I wanted to share. The first one, written on a tombstone somewhere in Ireland? (I think.. not sure...) was this quote: "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal."
I like life. I like people. No, the idea of living in 'nothingness' doesn't seem too thrilling to me either...
The second one I heard in a movie. "Those who have touched your heart live on with you forever."
Watching "Get cape. Wear cape. Fly." was emotional because it dealt with the idea that Quinten could have been one of us. Last year when you almost got into that car wreck coming back from gym... that could have been you.
That episode made me realize that high school, no matter how artificial and superficial of an enviroment it can be, it still matters. We are affecting our friends, our teachers, and nearly everyone around us just by existing. I want to do more than that. I want to make someone's day. I want to inspire someone. I want to be somebody.
Like, you know how Sra. Hylton would always make our day just by starting off class with a loud "Hola"? Or how Mr. Madis would always call us "Great Americans"? Or how Sra. Gray always quizes us nearly every day on all the bizzarre words we ask her to translate? Those are all such small things but they leave an impact and are remembered.
I guess if anything happens I hope I'll be remembered and missed like Quinten was.
Not to remind us even more about that car accident last year, but my gym coach told me that he thought the driver was a student at WHS and that he died...but he wasn't positive. Scary. Seriously, 10 seconds earlier and it could have been me.
On a happier note, I like those quotes. And it's true. The small things in life (like the hola's, great Americans, and new vocab words) do leave an impact. I think we'd both agree that we didn't appreciate those things when we had them (the Hola's in particular)...and now we miss them...a lot.
Can you imagine if we were sra. hylton's roommates and each morning when we woke up, she'd say "Hola" to us the way she used to say it last year???
I can't wait for Mexico.
Anyway, I'm going way off on a tangent. I should save that stuff for Myspace. See ya tomorrow.
For what it's worth, I believe we do go on. I also believe that not one of the 6 or 7 billion people on this planet has the correct vision of what it is. I don't fear death either, but I don't want those I know and love to die. That's the rub, the great contradiction. It would be okay for me to go, yet I want my loved ones to stick around. I guess if I blink out, it's no big deal to me.
And Amy, you're absolutely right: the small things in life make a huge difference. When I was ten, my family took a huge trip out west. We camped at the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, etc. I don't really remember the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone as much as I remember eating bologna and cheese sandwiches through 18 states, and how awesome Kraft Mac & Cheese tastes when cooked outdoors on a Coleman stove. I don't remember the destinations; I remember the journey. That's true for that particular trip, and for life itself.
You two rock. Have a great week.